Friday, December 16, 2011

Womhood.

So, I've been here in Kygyzstan since the end of August. I love it here. I'm learning a lot and making friends.




Of course, there are those weird quirks that pop up whenever you travel.

The biggest one for living in Bishkek is the idea of Womhood.
 


Wom: a combination of the words Mom and Wife

The word Womhood, also to be used as a noun (Wom), and a verb, (Womming) came into being after Paris, and had a very long day in which we were asked multiple times why we weren't married.
Uh obviously because books are way more interesting than husbands or partners. 


It being very late at night and all of us being very very tired, Paris said,

I don't want to be a Wom.



Dudes and Dudettes, we get asked that all the time here. Most girls who are between the ages of 16-22 are married or about to get married.They think about weddings that last for many days and having a husband who will take care of them.

Count the number of wedding dresses at this soviet monument


It's gotten so bad that I've contemplated telling blatant lies to get out of explaining why I don't have a husband and two kids.  

It's like a big deal. 

Like if you don't want to get married there is something wrong with you kind of big.

I want really hard to respect their culture but I cannot think of something that I want less, except maybe to become a teacher.

I want to be this powerful



So with this topic in mind, let's begin today's post.

MARRIAGE TERRIFIES ME.

I'm pretty sure I'm too "quirky" to get married. read: I'm not sleeping unless all the dresser drawers are closed and all the lights are off. I own at least 12 nail clippers because I pick at my hang nails and have a compulsive need to clip my nails. I cannot stand the sound of people sniffling in a quiet room.

I've got mad flair, yo.


We all know that NNTs are pretty awesome and unique. But it's also hard to find a partner, they usually have to be as smart as we are AND willing to be patient with the weirdness that comes along with being different.


Also dating is really freaking complicated: there is so much social stuff involved, Like smiling and stuff. I'm not super good at that.



Issues so far with the whole Womhood concept:


1. Any partner I had would have to be at least part saint and part astrophysicist



2. Other qualities include: editor, social navigator, and key locater person

One time, I put my keys in the fridge.



3. They have to be interested in some of the same things I'm interested in, including: astronomy, gender theory, philosophy through pop culture, space, social justice, literature not written by dead white dudes. They also need to bathe regularly, show up to class on time, wear clean sock and underwear, and chew with their mouth closed. This is only the start of my list.

Also, they can't be a terminator


Relationships are a ton of work.

You have to listen to the other person
and remember what they said

And like care about them and stuff

You have to like, know what they're interested in
and remember their birthday
and then remember to get them gifts



That seems exhausting to me. Like for real.



MOTHERHOOD TERRIFIES ME EVEN MORE

My mom is pretty much awesome. (HI MOM) I think she might be a wizard. Like actually. She had a career and stuff and then had a baby and then the baby wouldn't sleep ever.



This one time, a babysitter called her at work to come and get the baby because the baby had been crying for like the last three hours straight. So the Matriarch had to go and pick up the baby and miss work.  True story.



I think The Matriarch did a pretty good job at raising me. I'm pretty self sufficient. I'm pretty good at going to school and getting stuff done.

She spend so long teaching me math and stuff it would feel really weird if I didn't do something with it, like have a career or something.



If I had a baby how would I ever raise it? My parents did a pretty bombtastic job at it that I don't think I could do any better.

Like it would probably grow up to be weirder than I am. 


 Even these points aside: Pregnancy is still scary
People say that pregnancy is beautiful. They say that it is a miracle to grow another life inside you. It scares me. When people talk about pregnancy and the miracle of it all, all I can think about is that a baby is essentially a parasite growing on the inside of me.

Like a tapeworm. 





I also could not handle that many people wanting to touch my belly.


















Among other reasons  I am not fit to parent I also find the following pictures Hilarious





I like babies, babies are cute. They usually smell good. My issue is that babies are also fascinating and the temptation to use them for *harmless* social experiments is almost overwhelming.



Babies are not predictable. Babies do not sleep when they are supposed to sleep. Babies cry when they want. Babies need constant attention.

Do you know what I don't do well with? Constant change. Babies are constantly changing/in need of constant change.

I hate kids shows


I do not do well with change. Change makes me want to sit in a dark room for many hours and not leave. Change makes me cranky. Change and especially unpredictable change makes me less flexible than normal.

This makes me jolly


I am totally not responsible enough to handle being in charge of something else. Like today for example, I totally had milk that was at least a week expired, and I didn't notice until I was done with my bowl of cereal.
I submit this as evidence that I am not able to take care of another living thing.

I will go and bury my head in the snow now.


I totally admire you Moms who can do it all.  Seriously parents make my day, you do you so much.

I'm just not ready to be a mom. Like ever.

I wanted to show you this awesome video that Paris showed me. 



Is  this video disturbing or awesome? Thoughts?


Also, y'all I'm going to be traveling to China, the US, Hong Kong, Macao and finally back to Bishkek over the next 6 weeks, so I don think I'll have time to post. I'll see you all in February.

2 comments:

  1. I ♥ this post.

    I am NT, but I identify with a lot of what you've written about. Also, I love your writing style!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I totally agree that having a kid is scary. So many people are getting married and having kids already it's like: whoa...hold on. Do you realize how much commitment this takes? I'm also terrified of giving birth. It freaks me out like no other. Nothing about birthing is beautiful, it's scary. I'm getting all anxious now thinking about it. I realize that someday I will have a kid, possibly two, but there is no way anyone will be able to get me to have a natural/vaginal birth. C-section is where it's at.
    And don't worry about the love part. Your match will come along sometime. I mean, if I've found someone who is really honestly compatible with me, and can handle all my craziness I think you're bound to find someone too. The plus side is that my "Reir" experiences the world in almost the exact same way I do, so I have someone to relate everything to who really understands. It's a relief.
    Anyways, sorry this ended up being so long. Miss you! Stay tough, and go conqueror that career!

    ReplyDelete

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