Tuesday, July 12, 2011

This will not define me

From Postsecrets.com
This disorder will not define me. 

It is not my whole being, because I am more than that.

I am a daughter, and my parents love me. 

I am a big sister, and my siblings love me no matter what.

I am a friend, and those who are close to me are lucky.

I am a peer educator, and people can learn from the way that I think and teach.

I am a hard worker, and the time and effort I put into things shows.
I am beautiful, inside and out.

I am a student, and I am working to improve myself through education. 

I am a writer, and what I say has an impact.

This is not all I am, this disorder is not the sum of my being. No matter how it looks today I know I will find a reason to keep pursuing my dreams tomorrow.

Friday, July 1, 2011

Wing Man

Hey, How's it going??  Today I want to talk about Wing Men. But not traditional Wing Men.NNT Wing men.

I'm kind of fond of this concept.

and this photo.

So, we've talked a bit before about social skills and what is socially appropriate. 

Now I want to talk a little bit about surviving the social world and some coping techniques.

So parents are the ones we usually rely on, if you're NNT you may rely on them more than most.

Part of my life has been relying on Mom and Dad to be my Social Wing Man.

What does that even mean.

Well in some social situations a wing man helps you out with attracting ladies. Or gents.

In NNT world Wing Men sort of act as an interpreter of social happenings, an ambassador for the NNT and a translator for unspoken social behavior.

Karen you can't just ask people why they're white.

When you're little this is most often your mom. Mom's often point out social happenings when we go on field trips or when she would come and help out in the classroom.  This is important part of development, it allows children to help form generalizations about the world around them.  Like it's only appropriate to pick your wedgies in the bathroom. Not in public view. With parents guidance children can learn to "see" some of the unseen social things.

Now, obviously parents cant be with their children always. That would be an unreasonable expectation. So, as a NNT you learn who would make a good Wing Man and who would not.

This is a Tom Cruise themed post

So when you're young you first rely on your parents to find someone who has these qualities

1. Is socially competent

2. Is nice
3. Can explain what is going on adequately to NNT.
4. Has an unending amount of patience. 

This seems like kind of tall order. It is. Sorry. The first two are the most important. The rest of the list is super useful but not really needed. In a perfect world, you would be able to have a wing man who fulfills all these requirements. Most of the time however, we don't live in a perfect world.

In  a perfect world, I look like this.

When you find someone who meets some of these requirements you sort of start to play spy.  You undertake a secret mission to observe this person and learn from them. Observe what they do. See how they react to situations. See how they deal with NNT weirdness.

As you get to know a wing man and they get to know you, they may come to understand how unique it is to be a non-neurotypical.

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