Sunday, May 8, 2011

The Intersection of LGBTQ and NNT.


So, I've been meaning to write something about this for a while.

But then I didn't. I wouldn't know where to begin. 



So, here we go anyway.

There are lots of groups of "weirdos" out there. They are different from NTs and are often marginalized/unaccepted by society.


The nice thing about weirdos?  

They're More Accepting of NNT Weirdness.
This scene always makes me cry.

LGBTQ is one of those groups.

Think about it. The news the last year has been filled with kids who were LGBTQ being bullied and committing suicide. The high rates of bullying and suicide make schools as scary a place for the Queers as they can be for NNTs. Here is an article about how it sucks to be trans.

School is hard. Stay a baby forever


Queers and NNTs are kinda in the same "School is/can be an awful place" boat.

The nice thing?
They Make Pretty Good Friends and Allies for NNTs. 



Let me explain where this thought comes from. 

The first real friend I made was a queer person. We were in elementary school. Neither one of us fit in the conservative, Catholic, Hispanic town. We were both pretty much outcast from having friends. They liked to swing from trees, and climb rocks and skateboard. They had video games where you beat people up.They also liked to play Pokemon. That was why we were friends. 


The other kids at school didn't like this person because they did not dress like their assigned gender. They didn't like to wear skirts, and had short hair. They probably got made fun of for dressing the way that they did. 

Their favorite phrase was "Dang Dude"

This person liked me because I hadn't considered that those things mattered. My brain didn't filter that it was Socially Acceptable for girls to only dress like girls. 

I completely missed the social cues that said that I shouldn't be friends with this person because they dressed and acted like a boy.

This would not be the first time my friends would be different.
My first year after college, I went to Central Asia. 
Here, more or less.
  Before I could leave the country, I had to take classes.

Well, the classes were only weeks long, and I wasn't about to pay for housing with the school that I wasn't going to use. No sir. 


So, where was I going to live?
I was going to live with the  
captain of my crew team and hir's house of queer circus folk.

Who doesn't love the Circus?
It was pretty awesome. Here is a list of reasons why:

1. I was younger than everyone in the house by at least 3 years, they still included me in discussions. 


2. I learned a lot. I mean a lot. The house was really open about talking about their experiences of being LGBTQ.  They dealt with people asking them a  lot of questions in day to day life, so my questions seemed normal to them.


3. They were tolerant of my weirdness. It was normal-ish for them. I could read my books out loud, spread my homework out on the kitchen table, plug in my head phones and not talk to anyone for long periods of time without anyone so much as blinking an eye at what I was doing. 

But that's not all. 


The more I interact with my peers who identify as being LGBTQ I also think some of them might be on the spectrum too. 


I was watching TV on the computer yesterday and something caught my attention. The show was called TransGeneration. It's a documentary series about about 4 students who are changing their gender while going to college. 

The character that caught my attention was Gabbie. Gabbie was born a male and was transitioning to being a female at the time of the documentary. While that was story line was really cool, what struck me most was the way that she acted.

 Gabbie's part is from 2:10-6:10. 


Gabbie's friend comments: "When I first met Gabbie she definitely didn't have the common sense thing yet. She doesn't quiet know the social rules. So she'll touch you, all the time."   

HHMM. Interesting, she doesn't know the social rules. 

Later in the video, the same friend is shown telling Gabbie to go away because she is in her personal bubble.
Through out the segment, Gabbie is shown to over react, or react in a way that her peers find odd. 

Does this sound familiar to anyone else?  

  
Further Anecdotal Proof? 
Let's consider one of my favorite movies, Mean Girls
Gay, also a good friend.

And the most tolerant
  Who is still friends with Lindsey Lohan even though she spread nasty rumors about them? Damian and Janice. Boom. I hope that blew your mind.



Conclusion/Final Thoughts



So, we've learned that members of the LGBTQ community are probably NNT and make really good friends and allies for NNTS.

As a High Schooler I got involved in LGBTQ rights, it gave me an outlet for my NNT weirdness, and I got to meet some really cool people. 


Here is a brief list of what I learned/what I like about my LGBTQ friends

1. They are patient. They deal with as much discrimination and more. This means they don't sweat the small stuff.Like my need to have all of the drawers shut in the house at any given moment.

2. They are really kind to genuine people. Because they deal with so much discrimination they are pretty good at judging genuinely nice people.Often they are just relieved to be with someone who won't judge them for their weirdness. 


3. They are accepting. The LGBTQ community is as diverse as the NNT community. There are people of all walks of life, and all kinds of life experience. This includes NNT life experience.


Pop Icon Lady Gaga Supports the Gays.

5 comments:

  1. great post! Love your thought processes and your imagery. So glad to have found your blog.

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  2. Glad to see you have started a blog! I follow Stark raving mad mommy. Feel free to check out my Aspie blog: http://aspergersart.blogspot.com/

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  3. Wonderful post! Love your blog.

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  4. Totally resonate with hanging with weirdos. And your video of Gabbie is very interesting. Touching is so forbidden between men; maybe touching between women looks totally unlimited to her.
    As a bisexual, I have spent many years hanging with lesbians and gay men. My experience is that both communities are much more socially refined than a mixed heterosexual group, and that my NNT social skills lead to problems with both women and men. My best friends are lesbians, but I can't "pass" as NT with their friends.

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  5. That makes sense. Obviously, it's not a hard and fast, but I'm super grateful to all of my LGBTQ friends for their support. The Lady queers were super nice in comparison to the Hetero girls who were super cruel to me in high school.

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