Tales of Job Stupidity

This is totally what my job looked like.

It was a bright and shiny afternoon. The sun was out but I couldn’t see it because I worked indoors. So it very well could have been dark.

I was working at the chlorine/child infested waterpark. I was in charge. They gave me a clipboard so you know it was official. Everything was rocking.

We were just about to do the changing of the guards, which looks nothing like this:

I had a lifeguard who was about to start work come up to me.

Me: hey, how’s it going? Have you swiped your time card yet?

Him: yup.

Me: gone to the bathroom?

Him: yup.

Me: okay, looks like you’re ready to go.

Him: I can’t get in the water today.

Remember how I work at a waterpark? Generally there’s a lot of water there. It comes with the job. 

Me: what do you mean you can’t get in the water today?

Him: I can’t take my shirt off.

Me: Why?

Him: because I got drunk last night and fell asleep with my shoes on and people drew on me.

Me: let me see. 

 Not what it looked like.

The images that I saw were totally not appropriate for work, or home, or school and included the most graphic phalluses I’ve ever seen rendered in sharpie. 

                                                                 This is the face I made.

IT. WAS. AWFUL.

The moral of the story is, that job was awful and working with teenagers is about as rewarding as herding cats. Herding cats would have been more satisfying.

 Also, I made that lifeguard sit in the water with his shirt on for most of his shift. In the kiddie pool.