All hail the nerd culture.

How's y'alls November going?

Did you know that Kindle let's you download a bunch of classic books for free? Guess who has 40 new books to read?

As you know, I claim to be a nerd.

I'm also on the spectrum. I have a shinny certificate from a nice lady doctor who told me I was different.

Unfortunately I don't have a certificate for my nerddom, but that's okay I know you all will believe me.

offensive/awesome?

 

Today I want to talk about a very special nerd who is also on the spectrum.

You must be familiar with 90s cartoons and The Big Bang Theory to find this amusing.

Have y'all seen this show called the Big Bang Theory?

I know you have a life so let me tell you a little bit about it.

It's a show about a group of super smart nerd  scientists and the waitress who lives next door.

Mostly, waitress says boring blond things and some downright weird things about being from Nebraska.

I do not like the waitress character but maybe you do, so I won't say anything mean about her.

BUT I DIGRESS.


The best character on the show is totally one of us.

His name is Sheldon, he is an awesome scientist.

But How Do I Know This?

I did scientific research for you.

Your welcome

I watched an entire season and took  notes.

Sheldon is from East Texas, he graduated college at 14 and is a theoretical physicist living in California.

"I'm not insane, my mother had me tested"True story.

He has a spot that no one else can sit in.


He gets mad and no one else can sit there. Like ever. It's his spot.

He does not understand social things, sarcasm, or people in general.

But we already did that, for example, once I learn Finnish I'm not going to learn it again.

Here, his friend is trying to convince him to hang out with girls again.

He doesn't touch people on principal.

He loves comic books and video games. 

He is super smart!!

He has problems with situations that are unfamiliar to him. He has a set rigid schedule. He knows he is smarter than most of his peers. He does not temper his language to social situations.

However, the creators of the show continue to deny that Sheldon falls anywhere on the spectrum.

BUT!!

How can this been when we have overwhelming evidence otherwise?

I have some theories.

1. The writers of the show don't know what ASDs are, they didn't have anyone to use the Google for them.

2. They didn't want to offend people who are on the spectrum because they were using what could be a serious disability as part of their comedy.

3. They are waiting to reveal that this will become a major point in future seasons.

I think that theory one is possible, but theory two is the most likely. I've thought about emailing the writers and creators of the show with a list of helpful and informative links to eliminate theory number one from being a possibility.

But even without my super creeper status it seems pretty far fetched that they would have no idea about ASD. I think the only people who are super ignorant of ASD are elementary school teachers and administration.

That's a story for another post.

Here's why theory number 2 is wrong.

Sheldon is pretty self sufficient, he lives away from his parents, has a job that he gets to everyday, has friends, and feeds himself.

SEE! Food and Friends, Functioning Adult!!

There are very, very few NNTs visible in popular media, and even fewer that are portrayed positively.

Off the top of my head I can't think of a single person who is in the public eye who is NNT.

The only one who comes to mind is Temple Grandin, while I'm appreciative for all that she has done gaining publicity for ASD and raising awareness, cows kind of scare me.

A Google search turns up Jett, John Travolta's son who died after having a seizure and Dan Aykroyd, who might have been kidding about being on the spectrum.

It doesn't really give me, or any other young person on the spectrum a whole lot of  hope for role models.

Sheldon may not be the best role model, he can be inflexible and come off as uncaring, but he has friends and a job and is mostly a functional adult. He even has a girl who is a friend starting in the 4th season. I would rather admire Sheldon for the things that he has done then think about how he could improve.

I wouldn't mind if I grew up to be like Sheldon, I think that would be a pretty awesome goal.

 

GOODNIGHT PUNY HUMAN

The big issue is that we aren't seen. We are invisible.

And life is hard when you're invisible. It's hard when you don't see anybody like you on TV, hear about them on the radio or read about them in books or magazines.  You end up (at least I do, I obv don't speak for everyone) feeling very, very alone and like no one in the whole universe understands you. Which is why it was really refreshing to see Sheldon and have ( kind of for the first time)  someone I could really relate too. 

It was really nice to see someone on TV who is like me, at least a little bit.

But doesn't he get laughed at by the other characters for being different, or being Other?

Yes, it's true that his weirdness is often used for comic humor.

But the show is a comedy

And the other character's weirdness is also used as comedic relief.

For example, one of the other characters can't speak around women. He whispers to the other characters when there are women folk in the room.

The other characters are just as weird and nerdy and different as Sheldon. It's not as though Sheldon is the only comic relief.

Penny the waitress really bothers me.

I think it can be really good to learn to laugh about what makes you different, sometimes it keeps you from crying.

Watching the show there were so many moments where I could relate to Sheldon and a couple of moments where I've said the same thing as Sheldon.

Learning to laugh at yourself makes the disability seem less serious.

Sometimes, it can feel like an all consuming monster that is going to eat my life. If you are NNT or know someone who is, you know this feeling. It is the single most awful terrifying feeling ever.

Seeing anyone, even a fictional character not be bothered by the disibility is really refreshing.

I was talking with my Mom and she mentioned that having a kid on the spectrum is hard because you never know how they're going to turn out. They might turn out to be like Sheldon, pretty happy and functional or, like so many with learning disabilities, they could end up in jail.

Thanks Mom and Dad, for always being awesome!

When I first wrote the letter to stark raving mad mommy the thing that overwhelmed me the most was the responses from moms who were just happy to know that someone with ASD had turned out okay.  I think it gave people hope that maybe they could turn out okay too.

Victory is mine!!

That's what's nice about the show: It's about a character who is smart, funny, has friends and has his own difficulties.

I would really like to see more sucess stories both fictional and non fictional.

What do you all think? Are their good NNT role models out there and I've just been living under a rock this whole time?

The Intersection of LGBTQ and NNT.

So, I've been meaning to write something about this for a while.

But then I didn't. I wouldn't know where to begin. 

So, here we go anyway.

There are lots of groups of "weirdos" out there. They are different from NTs and are often marginalized/unaccepted by society.

The nice thing about weirdos?  

They're More Accepting of NNT Weirdness.

This scene always makes me cry.

LGBTQ is one of those groups.

Think about it. The news the last year has been filled with kids who were LGBTQ being bullied and committing suicide. The high rates of bullying and suicide make schools as scary a place for the Queers as they can be for NNTs. Here is an article about how it sucks to be trans.

School is hard. Stay a baby forever

Queers and NNTs are kinda in the same "School is/can be an awful place" boat.

The nice thing?

They Make Pretty Good Friends and Allies for NNTs. 

Let me explain where this thought comes from. 

The first real friend I made was a queer person. We were in elementary school. Neither one of us fit in the conservative, Catholic, Hispanic town. We were both pretty much outcast from having friends. They liked to swing from trees, and climb rocks and skateboard. They had video games where you beat people up.They also liked to play Pokemon. That was why we were friends. 

The other kids at school didn't like this person because they did not dress like their assigned gender. They didn't like to wear skirts, and had short hair. They probably got made fun of for dressing the way that they did. 

Their favorite phrase was "Dang Dude"

This person liked me because I hadn't considered that those things mattered. My brain didn't filter that it was Socially Acceptable for girls to only dress like girls. 

I completely missed the social cues that said that I shouldn't be friends with this person because they dressed and acted like a boy.

This would not be the first time my friends would be different.

My first year after college, I went to Central Asia. 

Here, more or less.

  Before I could leave the country, I had to take classes.

Well, the classes were only weeks long, and I wasn't about to pay for housing with the school that I wasn't going to use. No sir. 

So, where was I going to live?

I was going to live with the  

captain of my crew team and hir's house of queer circus folk.

Who doesn't love the Circus?

It was pretty awesome. Here is a list of reasons why:

1. I was younger than everyone in the house by at least 3 years, they still included me in discussions. 


2. I learned a lot. I mean a lot. The house was really open about talking about their experiences of being LGBTQ.  They dealt with people asking them a  lot of questions in day to day life, so my questions seemed normal to them.


3. They were tolerant of my weirdness. It was normal-ish for them. I could read my books out loud, spread my homework out on the kitchen table, plug in my head phones and not talk to anyone for long periods of time without anyone so much as blinking an eye at what I was doing. 

But that's not all. 

The more I interact with my peers who identify as being LGBTQ I also think some of them might be on the spectrum too. 

I was watching TV on the computer yesterday and something caught my attention. The show was called TransGeneration. It's a documentary series about about 4 students who are changing their gender while going to college. 

The character that caught my attention was Gabbie. Gabbie was born a male and was transitioning to being a female at the time of the documentary. While that was story line was really cool, what struck me most was the way that she acted.

 Gabbie's part is from 2:10-6:10. 

Gabbie's friend comments: "When I first met Gabbie she definitely didn't have the common sense thing yet. She doesn't quiet know the social rules. So she'll touch you, all the time."   

HHMM. Interesting, she doesn't know the social rules. 

Later in the video, the same friend is shown telling Gabbie to go away because she is in her personal bubble.

Through out the segment, Gabbie is shown to over react, or react in a way that her peers find odd. 

Does this sound familiar to anyone else?  

  

Further Anecdotal Proof? 

Let's consider one of my favorite movies, Mean Girls

Gay, also a good friend.

And the most tolerant

  Who is still friends with Lindsey Lohan even though she spread nasty rumors about them? Damian and Janice. Boom. I hope that blew your mind.

Conclusion/Final Thoughts

So, we've learned that members of the LGBTQ community are probably NNT and make really good friends and allies for NNTS.

As a High Schooler I got involved in LGBTQ rights, it gave me an outlet for my NNT weirdness, and I got to meet some really cool people. 

Here is a brief list of what I learned/what I like about my LGBTQ friends

1. They are patient. They deal with as much discrimination and more. This means they don't sweat the small stuff.Like my need to have all of the drawers shut in the house at any given moment.

2. They are really kind to genuine people. Because they deal with so much discrimination they are pretty good at judging genuinely nice people.Often they are just relieved to be with someone who won't judge them for their weirdness. 


3. They are accepting. The LGBTQ community is as diverse as the NNT community. There are people of all walks of life, and all kinds of life experience. This includes NNT life experience.

Pop Icon Lady Gaga Supports the Gays.